How little at times(singular) a prayer can feel or sound, but when the force of GOD shines in fulfillment it makes my insides buzz with fear and awe and ......... Love is truly a blessing to be cherished when we experience it and not something to replicate or reproduce!!! I also love how GOD can give me what i need in the midst of satisfying what I want and i don't even see it coming :) He has a way that is not like ours, it is above ours. My dad and i were just talking about the stars and such last night and i mean deep talking about the stars and such and this idea of GOD's ways came up. So comforting to know that He has it under control and nothing ever needs to be fretted over. I am so thankful to be sober and free from the influence that alcohol and drugs can impart, strike that, DO impart! Many years went by with only a flicker of my potential being connected and now the clear connections i have are making understandings of life so much more fun and real and memorable. Wise men still worship JESUS. Pastor has been saying this at church and one of the parts I got to read during the advent lighting was just that. I know it is a simple thing to say, but I love how big of a thing it is to do! Natalie Grant - sings it and when I sing along i can feel Him near (YOUR GREAT NAME) is the song. !!WORSHIP JESUS!!!!
What do you mean when u say that God gives you want you need in the midst of satisfying what you want? Is this something in particular or just a general sense? For me, I feel that it is often the other way around....He often decides to give me my hearts desires while He always meets my needs! Wise men still worship Jesus...yesssss :) And I feel like life is so much more clear and peaceful and full of contentment without drugs and alcohol. Even random outings downtown on the weekends can lead to uneasiness in one's mind
ReplyDeleteWhat i need is to be alone and what i want is to be with someone. God managed to give me time with someone while making it impossible to get away from the independant aloneness i need right now. I push and pull trying to make life come out the way I want it, yet the whole while pieces are being shifted on the board just out of my perifial that negate my every endeavor!!!! Old habbits make me say grrrrrrr but I am beginning to delight in the frivilous inputs I have. Guess I am just glad for what I get and try not to expect more than that!!! IE.. I am easing up on the projections whilst i still feel quite prophetic and will embrace my needs as desires :)
ReplyDeleteI am in the same place, in fact I am planning on writing about this next. My dad said to me a few months ago that he thinks I really want to find a man to spend my life with...Which really made me irritated :) Now after several months of pondering and evaluating my behaviors I think that I agree with him. Well, I know that I agree with him. Thus, I have decided to spend at least a couple of months not encouraging any men to pursue me. I think this will be SO GOOD for me, and also so hard. I get too much value from people "liking" me, both men and women, and need to focus more on how God feels about me...because ultimately that is the only thing that matters. I mean, on every level that is the only thing that matters. I just found a letter from my Grandpi who passed away when I was a freshman in college. He and I had a very special bond, and he wrote me this letter a few months before he passed away, for no documented reason (no birthday's etc). All it said was,
ReplyDeleteLara,
Because you are you.
Love,
Grandpi
NO RSVP
I got down on my face and cried to God out of thankfulness for the timing of finding the letter, out of thankfulness or reminding me of my Grandpi, and out of a desire for Him to let my Grandpi know how thankful I am for him and how much I miss him. It was the biggest blessing I can think of right now. Very overwhelming.
Anyway, I am jabbering. But I know what you mean about wants and needs. It is amazing how even what we want is in stark contrast with what we need, God can still find ways to satisfy those desires in good ways if He feels that is what is best for us and His Kingdom. What an amazing God we serve!